If anything, I would say that Boy Scout Mark had an extraordinary spurt of character growth at the tender age of 12. Not only had he learned to cope with some of life’s heavy loads through what had been fun and games for the older scouts, he would also receive insight into another of his character traits a few weeks after the big hike. While being a pre-teen at 12 can be a stepping stone into growing up, age doesn’t really matter as long as those valuable lessons learned are incorporated into one’s life.
Mark had already learned that if you remove the excess rocks – things you don’t really need — from your pack – your life — the load is lighter, and he cheerfully applied what he had learned to the remainder of the 50-miler. It wasn’t as if Scoutmaster Ken hadn’t been aware of the shenanigans pulled off by the older boys; what he had been impressed with was that Mark didn’t complain. He also noticed the camaraderie that developed among the multi-aged troop during the seven days in the mountains where they recognized that the competition was not among one another, but between all of them and the challenge of the wilderness.
Mark continued to write: “We learned about trees, poison oak, and edible and non-edible plants along the trail. We crossed a glacier, and ate food with a little dirt; we learned respect for nature, which was all around us, and we learned to respect each other, and of course, to always be prepared. It was seven days filled with learning, but it was what happened after the trip that changed my life forever.”
Ken always liked to give each boy the recognition he deserved at the Courts of Honor which were conducted for not only the young men, but for friends and families. The Court was always well attended, and after the 50-miler the room soon filled with eager scouts and proud parents. One by one the honor and merit badges were awarded, including a special 50-miler remembrance in the shape of a hiking boot. “But I had not received my award,” continued Mark, realizing that all of the awards had been handed out. “Then my Scoutmaster called me to the front as he had all the other boys. ‘I want you to know,’ Scoutmaster Romick stated, ‘that in all my years of scouting I have never seen a new scout like Mark. He never complained, nor did he give up, not once did he quit on the entire trip. He is not a quitter nor is he a complainer. I am amazed and impressed.’ He then handed me my award and patted me on the back.” Applause filled the room. Basking in his moment of glory Mark later declared, “I believe I grew 12 feet tall that evening.
“That statement of 30 seconds, and the following accolades, changed my character and my life forever. An adult had recognized a positive trait in me, told me about it and I believed it!”
For Mark it was a year of epiphany, discovering a part of his self, part of who he was which provided a guideline to the man he wanted to become. With that inner knowledge he established a creed of determination by which he lived, and he has continued to do so all of his life. Now, a grown man with a family of his own, Mark still recalls that evening with Ken, and wrote, “Even now as I think of my Scoutmaster I thank God for that man who showed me the way.”
When I read Mark’s words I am in awe of my husband who was a very likable, but ordinary man, yet he was able to reach through that invisible armor of youth, see the boy’s potential and impact him with self-motivation and power. I am humbled at Mark’s accolades for Ken. But even more I am inspired by Mark’s every-day use of his own established creed, which I’m striving to make my own.
As the “boss” caregiver for Ken with his Alzheimer’s there are times when I would like to quit and times when I am tempted to complain. Actually, I know that neither is an option. I’m not going to quit, and I have found it doesn’t do much good to complain; besides few want to listen. Of course, we are allowed to vent and to share our sorrows and woes with friends who have fought the battle, and with my wonderful internet friends who read my blog and share their stories about their ups and downs, their joys and sorrows while living with AD. They provide (and I hope I do as well) the soft shoulder to cry on, and with them I can vent – knowing that venting is good. Even the best of machines needs a vent. But I’ll try not to complain or whine about those things which cannot be changed, and I’ll remember the wisdom of a 12-year-old boy who grew to be 12 feet tall in 30 seconds because of Ken.
Greetings, I would love to write with resourceful info I thought your readers may find helpful – what is the best way to provide these details? It regards caregiver advice from an expert – thanks in advance if of interest. Best, Kathy Cabrera, media@fivestarpublications.com
Lots of information out there. Check out various blogs and books. “The 36 Hour Day” has lots of resourseful info, and Bob DeMarco’s “Alzheizmer’s Reading Room” is the No. 1 blog.